Tuesday, November 25, 2008

terror in the shed

BAM! BAM! BAM! The violent banging cut through the cool night air like a red-hot knife through butter. It jerked me from my peaceful slumber and resonated through my bones and I immediately jumped to my feet, muscles tightened and adrenaline flowing. Before I even had time to think my instincts kicked in and I had unsheathed the hunting knife - which resides under my cot specifically for emergencies such as this - and taken a defensive stance, fully ready for whatever - or whomever - may come rampaging through the thin, wooden doors. I stood there silently, waiting, watching, wondering.

"Could it be some kind of opossum or skunk trying to get into a metal container right behind the shed? Not a chance, too loud. Could it be a raccoon banging a nut on the grill trying to crack it? No way, this is much bigger. Maybe a Texas Brown Bear wandered out of the hills and into the city? Practically impossible. ...It's got to be the most dangerous animal in existence: the human being." Then I heard it again; another round of piercing, metallic volleys, very obviously not more than 20 feet away from the very place I stood. I knew a noise like this at 5am probably meant trouble... and I had to check it out - I was not going to sit idly by. Completely confident in the Lord's protection, I was neither fearful nor careless. I silently crept out of the shed into the ominous night, ready to face my fate.

Realizing the noise was coming from the other side of the privacy fence that borders the back of my shed, I cautiously and inconspicuously peeked over. And what I saw made me cup my hands over my mouth... trying to hold back laughter! (I didn't want my neighbor, who was indeed out there and who was indeed the source of this obnoxious clanging, to hear me.)

Here's what I saw (picture taken the next morning, sans my neighbor):

Yep, that's a baseball bat and some poor unfortunate piece of electronics equipment! (I think it's an audio amp; any of you guys know?) Being a EE and a nerd, I can fully understand frustration with electronics, and can fully appreciate the humor when someone releases those frustrations by destroying said equipment. (The scene in "Office Space" where some computer programmers kidnap their company's troublesome printer and go smash it in a field is one of the funniest things I have ever seen!)

There have been several occasions I have gotten to experience living in a shed that may have been initially annoying, but that, when they happen now, I can just laugh at. And being able to laugh at those kinds of things makes life alot more fun. I hope you all have gotten as much of a kick out of hearing this story as I did experiencing it!

Monday, November 10, 2008

my warm shed

What do you do right after you move into a new home you're very proud of? You throw a great big housewarming party in it with all your friends!

Well, that's exactly what I did; I threw a shedwarming party. The invitation my friends received went something like this:

"I hereby request the honor of your presence at the warming of the new Long's residence.

Please approach the shed by entering the gate on the LEFT side of the house. Walk through the gate about 15 yards and then take a right and walk for another 15 yards. My place has no address label, but it's the white one that is 64 square feet, 1 bed, 0 bath. ..."

it was a wild party complete with legwrestling matches
(these are my awesome neighbors Mark & Daniel)

Oh yeah, for memories' sake, and to add to the hilarity of the event: this was Sept. 12; the night Hurricane Ike was supposed to blow through Austin! I sent out a reminder to my guests earlier that day:

Rain or shine
,
we've got spine.
Hurricane or no,
the party's a go!

(We didn't even get a drop of rain.) Thanks to all of you for thoroughly warming my shed!